Saturday, May 30, 2009

What did I learn during my time in "recovery"?

  • I like to thoroughly examine both sides of a story before making my own judgement. I know what Ana Bella is going through, why she thinks the way she does. I know what Mia Jessica's distorted reflection looks like in her eyes. Those connections make us kin in a way no other relationship can connect people.

  • For all their years and years of research and development, doctors, nurses, and therapists will NEVER understand the disordered mind if they have never lived it themselves. It appalls me to hear them say, "I understand what you're telling me..." Nothing infuriates me faster. No amount of study and research will qualify you to "understand" until you've lived through it.

  • I have a new respect for the self-control of my tongue, as well as self-control of my weight. I can retrain my mind and body to learn to play any game for a little while, tell you what you think you want to hear, show you what you think you want to see, if it gets me to my end. I can make you believe you have "healed" me. And I can be set free.

    I am free now. I believe I am ready to fly again.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Can I just vent for a fucking moment?

I was not allowed to leave my recovery program until I was a "healthy" 120 lbs.

Tonight, the "Biggest Loser" was awarded $250,000 for being 117 lbs.

What the FUCK is wrong with this picture????