Friday, October 10, 2008

Martha Stewart just made a funny: One of her guests had baked something and offered it to her asking if she was hungry. As she took a greedy bite she said, "Oh yes! I only had a salad for lunch... yesterday!" The entire audience laughed. I love it.

Email feedback time!!

L wrote: Question for ya Ana: why is it that the industry you're in secretly praises the rail thin, yet if you don't eat enough on set you "get in trouble"? I don't understand the hypocrisy.

There is great danger in the word "they." This all-emcompassing word doesn't take into account that oftentimes people's personal beliefs and work requirements don't meet eye-to-eye. I think a lot of producers would personally rather NOT see us rail-thin, unhappy, unwell, and starving. But as PRODUCERS, their job is to make money for the networks and studios. And that's what sells. So while they encourage you to eat to alleviate their own consciences and appear politically correct, the unspoken fact is that if you're not thinner than the other girl, she's more likely to get the job. Because that's what AUDIENCES like to see. (And the audiences will say, "Oh no! We hate to see them so skinny!" and then raise the ratings by watching the shows more and more each week.... it's a vicious cycle.)

In other words, no one really puts their money where their mouth is.

Anonymous "nurse ironic" says: i just wanted to give you a heads up bout diuretics and just to be very carefull because that is one thing that can kill you, lack of fluid can cause serious heart problems and kidney problems.

Thanks for the wise words. I'm posting them here because I hope someone who may not know better will take heed. But in my own defense, if you follow the directions on diuretics, they do tell you to take each pill with 6-8 ounces of water, and I'm drinking about 3 liters of water per day.

By the way, for those who don't know, NOT EATING can kill you too. ;)

Anonymous asks: do diuretics really work? I've heard that they just get rid of your water weight, and not actual flab/fat. Any insight?

In short order, YES. Diuretics are not for losing fat mass, only for reducing water weight.
Definition of diuretic: Anything that promotes the formation of urine by the kidney. (The word "diuretic" comes from a combination of the Greek "dia-", thoroughly + "ourein", to urinate = to urinate thoroughly).
Guys, please understand me. I DO NOT use these diuretics every day. I do the saltwater flush only whenever I feel like I really need a good thorough cleaning-out. I was doing diuretics for the THREE DAYS leading up to a very important public appearance that I had to make. I was completely aware that the loss would be temporary, but that's all I needed it for. Honestly, I haven't taken another diuretic yet since then.

And as an OVERALL VIEW -- I do not endorse pro-ana as a form of SUICIDE. Only as a format for extreme weight loss. Please read some of these earlier posts in my blog, where I actually do not approve of anorexic deaths. To me, this disease is all about CONTROL. If you die from anorexia, clearly somewhere along the way, you lost control.

So be smart about it, mes bébés. Do any of your thinspirational angels appear to be dying? No. The ones who are heralded are the ones who are Living With, not Dying From this disease.

For all of those who have questions about the saltwater flush, please visit THE LINK. Follow the instructions to a "T." I'm not a medical expert, I can't tell you what will happen if you use table salt or more or less, or do it in the morning or the evening, or before or after fasting... I can tell you MY experiences, but since every person's body is different, you may not react the same. All I can tell you is TRY IT AND SEE. That's what I did. So good luck.

Anonymous asks: Aren't you really hiding behind yor religion by doing the fasts? I don't think Christ would want you to completely ruin your weekends every weekend.

I can't tell you how much this makes me laugh!!! (Gimme a sec to catch my breath...) Who said fasting "ruins" my weekend? It gives me more time to work and work out, and I come out a few pounds thinner -- I'd call that a helluva GOOD weekend! And as for what Christ thinks, please refer to Christ's own words in Matthew 6:16-18, and His actions in Luke 4:2-4.

And finally to Jerry who wanted me to respond so he would "know that you read it and what your thoughts are."

The only reason I'm not posting your note is because it was two fucking pages long. If your "morbidity" spurs you to preach, you'll reach a much more receptive audience by starting your own anti-pro-ana blog. Join the masses, you are not unique.

Do not take offense when I generally refer to my readers as "girl." I recognize that I have a few guy readers, but a vast majority of my readers ARE girls, and you are not the only one I keep dialogue with.

Thanks for "caring about my well-being" but get in line. Oh, and by the way, while you're caring for me, stop buying tabloids with pictures of shockingly fat and skinny people in the headlines, stop looking at pictures of beautiful actresses at all news stands or while standing in line at the supermarket, stop watching all movies with skinny actresses, and stop watching any television shows that feature skinny actresses. Do not buy your clothes from any stores whose runway shows featured skinny models. Only listen to music written and performed by fat people. Do not purchase products from any store that features skinny models in their magazine, newspaper, or television advertisements.

Also, don't forget to inform every doctor in the health care industry that obese people are beautiful, and that that makes them healthier than eating-disordered people.

If you can do all that and manage to change the worldview as we know it, THEN... I'll stop starving, and making a living off the dollars YOU pour into this lifestyle of mine.

Meantime, thanks for reading.


hey.hana said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haahaha.

You tell 'em.

How weird//unexpected//((pleasantly)) surprising that you are aware of your world view and have such a way of communicating that to others ((esp. considering your occupation, no offense)). I wish I could say as much for myself...

and I admire your control and your awareness that it goes both ways ((control to become skinny, control to not go too far)). It makes me feel better knowing SOMEONE out there sees things the same way.

All right. I'm just trying to waste time.. put off this horrible meal I promised Boy I'd ingest... I think I'm gonna nab a wrapper from the food stand here in the library and say I couldn't help myself, so I might not eat as much at lunch...

Beautiful! I'm doing it.

mk vell all right dahling keep up the good work and don't forget to keep us posted!

x Hana

Tara said...

Okay - so I just have a question for you... How the fuck do you get skinny? I'm so fat - I hate it. But I have a hard time getting skinny. Any advice or pointers or something to help me out.

ligeia said...

you sound strong girl!! so happy for you!!!
about people being "too cautious" to compliment your weight loss, I totally understand--but don't get caugtht in the vicious mind trap of thinking it's not noticeable. I gaurantee, if you are really fasting, it's noticeable. If people are dropping hints about the important of eating protein or talking a lot about *other* girls with eating disorders and how dangerous it is for *their* health, then they definately notice. Just sayin', sometimes we can be a little obsessed and miss the small hints that people drop. I've been getting that a lot lately.
By the way, I totally fucked up my salt water flush (like a total dumbass) and put in waaaay too much sea salt--which ballooned me up!!! fyi to those of you---TEASPOONS not TABLESPOONS!!! It was so bad I stayed in bed hopelessly depressed and crazy for an entire day, but a couple days later, was back to my slim size zero---so don't freak out if you do this, just be disciplined in a good fast for a day or two and you'll be fine.

Just curious about you: are you more antisocial now? do you have a bff? if so, does she know anything's up? like i said, just curious. :)

Stay gorgeous my darlin!

Anonymous said...

i have not eaten for 4 days and i feel great iv had only water and lots of it iv never felt so alive in all my life this is the first time iv been on your site and your strength is amazing i want to lose 14lb in the next 2 weeks and i know reading your blog will help me do it your a star babe think thin x x x baby x x x

Anonymous said...

If your going to take a duiretic take a potassium sparing one like dandylion root and add some zero calorie electrolyte mix to you water that way you won't trough you electrolytes off and get hyponatremic or hypokalemic

vlada-ana said...

Yes, I wanted to second the comment just above, by Anonymous. It's not the lack of WATER that causes heart and kidney problems; it's the lack of electrolytes. That's one of the common causes of death for anorexics: their heart stops, because sodium, potassium, and calcium are necessary to conduct the nerve impulses that keep your heart beating, and anorexics just don't take in enough to make up for what is lost through peeing, sweating, etc.

Try and drink things that are designed to replenish potassium and sodium - maybe there's some kind of calorie-free or sugar-free Gatorade? Also, I like to drink soy sauce in hot water, or chicken broth - that helps me when I feel really faint.

Balletpixi said...

Right ON! oh my. When I read your posts, it gives me a boost, because I love that unlike many other ana blogs, yours is intelligent and 'biting' haha. I think it's great how you dissmissed Jerry. I get some great entertainment from your blogs, and it helps me feel not so alone in this. =3 could be a writer on the side. or...full time...but i'm guessing you're probably pretty content with the job you've got now. ;D
Just thought I'd let you know how much I enjoy your blogs!

~Starve on!

Anonymous said...

Ugh I miss my ana days but I can't go back. I won't go back. I really really want to, but I've made a firm agreement with myself that I won't until I'm fully grown and moved out so I won't have anyone to bother me about it and I won't have to worry as much about health. Dang it dang it dang it, why do I have to be at this age? Why can't it be when my body is all done growing?