Saturday, October 18, 2008

LOVE to all my commenters. <3

Doing good so far on the 3-day weekend fast. Nothing but water yesterday, and was down 2 lbs this morning. No food today, but did have several caloried drinks as well as my water. I'm anxious to see what I'll weigh tomorrow morning because of the calories... mostly soy milk, so I know the protein is what kept me strong enough to evade eating. But do the calories factor out? We'll see.

I will admit, I did buy 2 butter croissants and an apple-cinnamon scone today to support my church's bake sale. And I bought them with the mindset of bingeing. But once I got back in the car, I reminded myself of you guys, and the promise I made to fast for three days. I didn't eat them. (I love you guys.)

I can tell myself I'll only eat one bite, but the truth is that I can never stop myself. If I eat just a little bit, I end up tailspinning into a maniacal uncontrollable binge-fest. I think it's a survival-instinct thing... my body's been starving for a few days now, and it thinks that I have to LOAD UP on calories in case I don't feed it again for awhile.

So to avoid the binge, I MUST avoid the first bite. I wrapped up the baked items and put them away to save for Monday. If I can save everything for "cheat days" (make them Monday and Thursday) and then fast five days a week, hopefully the starving will outweigh the binges.

God, I wish I could just stop bingeing altogether.

One day at a time. I feel strong that I will be able to get through tomorrow without eating again. I'll probably have another soy latte, 1) because I need the caffeine to keep my energy up, 2) the protein in the soy was a miracle filler.

But if tomorrow's weigh-in doesn't look like I'll lose all five by tomorrow night, maybe no soy latte...


Anonymous said...

I read your blog almost religiously. And I thought I'd let you know I'm doing this 3 day fast with you and you totally inspire me.


L said...

im trying to fast, but i don't know what liquids i should/should not drink

any advice? i know theres various types but what's your recipe for your favorite fast?

i work at a pharmacy so most diet pills/etc. are readily available

gettingthinsoon said...

I ate 1/2 of an onion bagel plain this am after telling myself no food. I am such a freak. I hope that I can make it the rest of the day. Do you take ephedra or Clen? I am looking into something to help me burn fat...

Gidget said...

good luck with the rest of your fast!

I found this website you might be interested in, since you write about fasting for spiritual reasons as well::

it has a LOT of info about fasting, nutrition, etc. and it helped me when I started fasting and wanted some motivation.

keep up the good work!


Anonymous said...


I just had a quick question about the salt water flush you've been talking about. I tried it this morning to start my fasting, however I couldn't even drink half of the quart before I felt the overwhelming urge to throw up. I actually had to stop and just go with the half quart because I was on the constant verge of tossing it all back up.

When you've done the flush in the past, did you have this same problem and if you did how did you work through it?

Anonymous said...

Hey. Me saying you are so inspiring again. Doesn't it feel so wonderful to be empty? even that gnawing hunger feels lovely. Power..success.. I love it. Anyways good luck I KNOW you can do this. you are strong. <3 ~ a fan

cheryleigh said...

You are such an inspiration to me.
not because of the beauty you are or seek to attain but because of the deep understanding I feel in your words. I love that I can relate to someone, even in such a removed fashion. Stay strong love. Know that we ALL want happiness and peace for each other in these necessary tasks and tiny triumphs.

Anonymous said...

fuckin love this blog i can do it with the support of the blog!!!

love you !!!

beleive in thin!


Barbie.Doll said...

Ugh.. I just read your blog.
Might I say... Fabulous!
This is very nice.

Love you.

Anonymous said...

i found your blog by mistake and i am so very impressed with it. im looking to loose a lot of weight. i got to the gym everyday and so far ive only lost half a stone. but still its something to begin with. im going to do some research into fasting and fingers crossed i can loose more weight.

Jenny said...

You inspire me so much. I'm 5'4" and 109 pounds, I was the same height a few years ago and 94 pounds. I looked amazing. and then I lost it and got into drugs and forgot about my body.
now I'm clean and you're the only thing making me loose weight. I love how harsh and strong you are.

Anonymous said...

this isnt a flame at all, im just shocked at how agreeable and inspired everyone is by you. this breaks my heart. im sure youre beautiful. i hope you will live and thrive and be happy.

nice writing style. you have a good voice. the subject material is just, harsh. once again not hating AT ALL, just blown away

Do it for yourself! said...

Hello I just wanted to leave you a comment as I have been reading your blogs, they're great that you are so open but it's really upsetting reading how depressed you are. I went through anorexia a few years ago and it did pretty much what your blogs tell me what has happened to you. except I was forced into the hospitol as I was underaged. I felt like my life was over at that point u just wanted to strangle myslelf but as I became fatter and left I was back to the same regime of losing weight, there was a side of me that wanted to fight it an a side that wanted to kill me! But I fighter and god I fighted so bad! It was the most painful thing I had to go through! And in the end, 2 years after I am free. I'm not trying to annoy you or make you angry but All I really want to sag is you can be better and you will be free! Listen to your fighting side please! You can do it, I did it an I was 12 years old do you can too !! Chuck out you scales! That was my first step to recovery.... But keep going