Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thank God I'm back to work finally! BUT, it comes with a price.

I had to have lunch on-set today with my cast/crew. I HATE catered craft services!! And P.A.'s who think you're so frail and thin that you must be fed on every fucking "take 5." Sometimes I just want to scream, "SOD OFF!!!"

But I don't, of course. Instead, I'm obligated to smile and be marveled by the generosity of the spread and say, “Wow! Everything looks so good, it’s so hard to choose!” and then pile a little bit of everything on my plate. Why can these people never get a clue and start making some healthy shit? I ate a few cherry tomatoes with feta cheese (drizzled with olive oil), and a little bit of salad, and had about a bite each of the fish, asparagus, roast beef, and steak fries. Ugh. After eating so little for so long, my stomach has shrunk and I got real bloated real fast. Of course, my lack of eating did not go unnoticed and made for some real awkward moments in the second half of the day.

I hate myself for not being more clever with the excuses. As much as I love my job, I hate my career. That’s enough for today.

In the words of Dr. Horrible: “Emails!”

Anonymous/L wants to know some “good foods to eat, some of my common meals that are healthy and low-cal so she can start a 2-4-6-8 diet.

Love ya, girlie, but you’re asking for diet advice from someone who prefers NOT TO EAT. Do some googling, there are loads of pro-ana lists out there that include watermelon, celery, sugar-free popsicles and jello. You just have to find whatever works for you. Something that will satisfy your cravings (so you don’t binge) without eating too much. For me, I look for high-fiber, low-fat and low-cal foods. When labels fail, use sites like nutitiondata.com and calorie-count.com to find info.

P.S. I’ve done that diet too. I tried once when a week was 2-0-6-0-4-8-0, and once when a week was 2-6-4-8-0-0-0. I liked the second way better, but it’s different for everyone. Depends on what your schedule is like.

Anonymous has tried every diet and nothing seems to work and is now considering turning to ana as well. She wants to know, would I ever advise another aspiring actress to do the same?

No, I would never ADVISE someone to “try anorexia.” Who in their right mind would? Anorexia kills.

(PSA quota for the week? Check.)

That being said… I would, however, recommend you keep trying different methods until you find the one that works for you. And that means NOTHING is off-limits. Catch my drift? If it works for you, gives you the results you want, don’t let me or anyone else discourage you.

Peace, ma-cheries. Starve on.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks so much! honestly, reading your posts made me feel like a fat cow (a good thing) i also just ran out to the drug store and bought cayenne and ginger pills!

keep doing what your doing, your my thinsporation skinny bitch!

Anonymous said...

You are SO Inspiring. In the past 4 months I have lost 35 pounds but need to loose that last 44 pounds. And reading this has given me courage to do it. I hate even getting out of bed in the morning. and feeling so... gross. but thanks to you, I have something to go with. Oh and tip I have heard. more citrus!!!, the watermellon is packed with sugars. they may be natural sugars but also make you more bloated, citrus helps "flush" your system. Im with you 100% on this!! Starve on babe!

- K -

L said...

Question for ya Ana -

why is it that the industry you're in secretly praises the rail thin, yet if you don't eat enough on set you "get in trouble" ? I don't understand the hypocrisy. Do they just want to keep a blind eye to what is really going on?

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. It's really inspiring. I'm an ana, but I'm bulimic, i guess. I don't really cansider myself that but whatever. Don't you ever get really hungry? I have to eat I can go so lond without eating, but then I have to eat? How do you control craving and hungry pains?

I just throw up my food, but obviously, it's not working, cause i'm a fucking blimp.

Anonymous said...

Hello Blog-athor

I've been reading your blog for a while. I had/have an ana blog of my own, with a friend. I know what a lifeline it can be.

However I wonder if you could give us some of your stats? I don't expect you to tell us your current weight, but maybe your lowest ever weight, highest ever, height, age, and that kind of thing.

Truly sorry if you've already posted these, but your blog is kind of long now and I can't remember everything.

About me: You can call me Amy (!). I'm 20 years old and have suffered from eds since I was 14/15 - namely, binge eating disorder and compulsive overeating disorder. Ironically I've always been stick thin and people in the past have thought I was anorexic when I wasn't.

I turned to food for comfort from a lot of problems, but found after about 17 or so that I was starting to put on weight. At my highest weight I was pushing 9 stone (I'm 5'6"). I now weigh 105 lb, but am determined to get down to 99 lb. At this weight I feel so frumpy and matronly.

It's hard. Like you I can lose a pound a day, for like 5 days, but then binge and put it all back on. I have purged, used laxatives, fasted, restricted, abc, 2468, you name it. I guess now I would fit an ednos diagnosis more than anything else.

I would like to know have you ever broken 100 lb and how did you do it?

all my love,

Amy x

Anonymous said...

A good tip for controlling hunger: hold your stomach muscles in - not hold them in for a bit or whilst exercising - all the time, waking, sleeping, walking, exercising, until the stomach shrinks. You should especially hold the stomach in whilst eating. Believe me, this KILLS hunger pans. It's an old trick that goes back to the 1940s and 50s