Just figured out that my roommates are planning a "surprise" party for me tonight. There's a ton of food in the fridge... all kinds of party munchies, dips, veggie platters, cookies, etc. And there's a fire-pit set up in the backyard for grilling.
Needless to say, I will be expected to EAT. At least publicly. Although I had already started this morning with my 1/2 cup of grapes, I now refuse to eat anything else until the party. And even then I'll have to carry around my faithful bottle of water, and see how many times I can get away with, "Oh, no thanks. I had one a minute ago - aren't they divine?" and "I just had a plateful a moment ago - I'm stuffed, I couldn't eat another bite! Ha ha!" and "Ooh, I'm still recovering from being sick, but thanks anyway!"
Fortunately/unfortunately, many of the friends that I expect to show up tonight know about my ED history. But mostly they know that it goes hand-in-hand with my depression problems. So as long as I can smile and mingle and continually circulate, I should be able to avoid most criticism, suspicion, and force-feeding. As long as I can play the pretty hostess and keep moving around the room, and keep sipping that water and serving others, I should be able to stay under 438 calories.
I'm gonna try like hell.
Do you think maybe my roomies have noticed my restricted eating habits in the last few weeks and that's why they're pulling this party? I mean seriously -- there's not really that much to "celebrate." It seems like they just needed a good excuse to throw a dinner party. Hmmmm... stay tuned for tomorrow's update. And pray that I can stay strong tonight.