Thursday, September 11, 2008

I've been doing real good lately. Still not counting, and not water-fasting, but I am back to severely restricting. I've been liquids-only 3 days so far this week (every other day, but hoping to do at least 2 consecutive days sometime next week, for sure). Down two pounds. Wanted to be down 2 more by tomorrow, but I slipped up today.

I had a helluva day on a job I was shooting. Very high stress, very unlike me, but it caused me to want to hurt myself WITH food. So I had a venti Breve latte on the way home, and a cup of frozen grapes when I got here, as well as singing VERY loudly in the car (yeah, more like screaming) and straining my voice.

I grabbed a pudding cup and a box of animal crackers from the kitchen and brought them up to my bedroom to add more secret calories to the stress-binge. But in the mail today I got a DVD copy of some film footage I shot a few months ago in June. (I had to lose 20 lbs for the movie, so I look damn good in these scenes.) And watching that inspired me to put the desserts back.

I've got another commercial shoot tomorrow, and they'll probably try to feed me on the set. So while I don't think I'm going to hit my weekly goal this week, I'm going to try like hell to hit a new one next week: 4 lbs down from today's weight by next Friday (9/19).

The more I starve, the easier it gets, believe it or not. I guess it actually becomes "habitual" to THINK about what you're eating before you just slog it into your mouth. I've even been drinking less Starbucks on my liquid-only days.

Every time you say "No, thank you" to food, you say "Yes, please" to thin.

By the way, 65 votes for me not to come back to Ana, 163 votes for me TO come back. You asked for it; you got it. (Who the hell am I kidding? I'm back anyway.) Hopefully I'll be recreating my facebook profile this weekend. Stay tuned for that.

Starve on, my crazy skinny bitches! Woot!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

ur really inspirational & im a guy!!

Anonymous said...

Hey,

I just recently found your blog, and fell in love right away. I've been struggling with my weight, and it's just not budging...

It's funny, I was reading your entry on 9/11 ... "The more I starve, the easier it gets, believe it or not." I can't AGREE MORE WITH THIS! You are dead on with this. I've been doing really really good for the last 4 days. I'm taking a diet pill and with that I have so much energy and just not hungry that it's really helping.

I'm babbling and I'm sorry, (I hope I made sense somewhere in there!) I'll shut up now... but just wanted to stop in and let you know I LOVE YOUR BLOG! You're inspiring me!!! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

hey, i just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for giving me so much support. I've recently been force fed by my parents which led me to gain loads of weight. I'm getting there, thanks for the help :D