Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Day 2 of 34. Afternoon.

Well, the first day, as predicted, was easy. And this morning it paid off - 3 pounds lost. I do expect the first five to come off very easy. After that, it'll go slower.

Today is an eating day, limit 100 calories. I measured out 3/4 cup of high-fiber cereal, which is actually 105 calories, so I put a spoonful back. It's the kind of cereal that has flakes, sticks, and little round white balls that taste like malt. I set it in a small bowl and I've been munching one or two pieces every fifteen minutes or so. High-fiber makes it a slow-burning carb, so hopefully I'm burning it faster than I'm actually eating it, but keeping the metabolism machine turned on. Plus I've had a liter of water and a can of coke zero, and I'll have another liter with electrolytes at the gym.

Tonight I'm planning to go for a ten-mile run. Figured I'd better do it while I have food-fuel in me. Yesterday I did nothing exciting at all, just to see if the metabolism is working again -- it is. I had one liter of water, a 20 oz coffee and a 20 oz cider (yay - holiday treats!). And I lost three pounds.

But the first day is always easy. The first day (again) tomorrow might be a little tougher, and Thursday will for sure be hard. The second day is always hardest for me, and after eating so little today, it will non-technically be day four. So, I'm trying to go ahead and steel myself for that now.

Somedays I feel like such a weakling because I can fast all morning long, no problem at all, but then suddenly five o'clock hits and I'm like - bam! Hungry! And then because I haven't eaten all day it's not like a small sensible meal will do. Oh no, it's like I NEED to stuff myself with an entire box of something. Thank God so many things come in single servings now, I can eat it "all" and stop before it's out of hand.

But I won't have to worry about those days until this fast is over. For the next 34 days, every single thing I eat is already mapped out, and I'm going to stick to it. I still haven't heard about the official date of my big photo shoot, but if I get any say in the matter, I'm going to do it on day 34, when I should be at my thinnest. Yay!

I'm so happy to have SO MANY people who are on my side this time, holding me accountable. I feel like you guys actually outnumber the nay-sayers for once! :-D

It makes me stronger, it makes me want to defy the world. It makes me feel like I'm going to wear my red bracelet no matter what - if Nicole Richie gets away with it, then so will I! If people ask questions, I'll dodge them with clever answers or just not answer them at all. And I'm not going to eat, no matter what -- there are plenty of excuses to not eat, and I'm gonna use them all and then make up some more! People can encourage me all they want, but they'll never be able to PHYSICALLY shove stuff in my mouth. I AM IN CONTROL.

I am going to look DAMN good at the photo shoot. I'm going to shock everyone at home with how thin I've gotten when I go back for the holidays. I'm going to go to all the parties and look drop-dead gorgeous, and seeing my reflection and hearing the compliments will make me not want to eat another thing ever. Damn the pressure. Damn the hunger. Overcoming my weaknesses can only make me stronger.

I am going to make it all the way through this 34 days!


mamamia said...

Hi ANA, I'm the anonymous gal who asked you whether you only drank water during your fast. I'll call myself mamamia from now on.

I'm an emotional eater and totally stuff myself when I'm bored, angry, happy etc. I just find excuses to eat. I hate the way I look and feel. Last nite, emotions kicked in and I downed two pizzas, chocolates, cakes and whole bunch of other junk. I don't think I can go all liquid like you, but I'll try a soup and veggi diet first. Today, I'll have a 250ml coffee, a cup of veggi and a bowl of soup. So please, don't stop posting! I look to you for motivation!

Rima said...

It's the same with me....I can go without food all day and then suddenly at some point of the day I just NEED to binge...It's so weird