Monday, July 9, 2007

~~Whatever you will, Lord.~~

This is what I prayed just before I stepped on the scale this morning. I have been on a liquid fast of penitence for the past three and a half days. I have consumed 1385 liquid calories in that time, and burned at least 2500.

"Just as long as you know that the number you're about to see on the scale is NOT an indication of how very much I love you." That's the response I got.

As I stepped on the scale, for the first time in a long time, I did not care what it was about to say; I felt loved.

128.

I am back to the weight at which I started before the binge that led me to the penitent liquid fast. How perfectly appropriate. :)

...

Of course, this looks like it will now be harder to achieve my previously set goal of 122 lbs by July 18th, the next scheduled celebratory "cheat day." That's six pounds in nine days. It's not impossible, but I think it's highly improbable.

I spent a great deal of last night readjusting my diet plan. I have GOT to quit this Starbucks addiction... it's gotten out of hand. It's killing my wallet and putting useless empty JUNK calories in my body. If I'm gonna fill myself with that many calories, they might as well have NUTRIENTS in them.

So this week (after today's soup and sushi to officially break the fast), I'm going to attempt a 5-6-7-8 diet. Every other day, I have scheduled 500, 600, 700, and 800 calories in random order, with a one-day sub-500 liquid fast scheduled between each. On eating days, I will count both food and liquid calories, and I will not be allowed to have ANY coffee. On liquid days, I will be allowed a Grande Starbucks at most - but other than that, only juice, milk, water, tea, and coke zero.

I have also purchased cayenne pepper pills for before-meals, to help kick-start my metabolism, and ginger pills for after-meals, to help aid digestion.

I've got every single meal planned out, including a lot of 100-cal soup, 90-cal mini-rice cakes, some fruits, and a few salads, plus extreme-low-cal treats like sugar-free popsicles and jello snack packs. A little better balance of protein, carbs, fruits and veggies. It's still going to be very hard to stick to the plan, because there are a few days this week in which my business plans are up in the air until last-minute notice.

By this time next week (Monday morning), I hope to be 123 pounds, but I'm not holding my breath. It has also occurred to me to possibly do the 5-6-7-8 in the first four days of the week (since this is when my business days are most likely to occur, and I do not yet have anything on the schedule for the end of the week), and to do another 3-day liquid fast same time next weekend. I still haven't decided completely against that.

I'll make all the appropriate adjustments as soon as my business plans are set in stone. Meantime, I feel like I'm in line with God, and that He is in control of my weight loss (or :::flinch::: gain). "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9.

I spent three days fasting and praying for forgiveness for my gluttony. And I lost every ounce I had gained. "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3. ~~Praise HIM.~~

1 comment:

Ana said...

you are doing so good, i know u can do it!!!!