So MUCH to tell!
What a great day I had yesterday! It was the first day of my new 3-day fast, dedicated to praising and worshiping the Lord for the fact that I didn't gain even one pound on my day of eating!! I knew it was going to be a busy day, but I didn't realize how much I would get accomplished.
Monday's binge must not have been too bad, because I'm already feeling slightly hungry, getting that rumbly feeling every once in a while. It's SOOOOOO much easier to pray over it and make it go away rather than just screaming or punching myself in the stomach. It's far easier to love myself than to hate. ~~Thank you, Jesus, for this revelation.~~ And I'm already starting to "crave" (ie. PLAN) what I'm going to use to break this fast on Friday if I reach my desired goal of 125 pounds.
Today's plan was: 1 bottle of juice (130 cals), 1 Venti starbucks (160 cals), and whatever other juices I could find while out and about. On my way to Starbucks between auditions this afternoon, I passed a Whole Foods. I'm a sucker for this store, so I decided to drop in and see if they had a juice bar. Unfortunately, they didn't, but they did have loads of bottled stuff to choose from.
Well, as always, fruit juices are not only expensive in $$, they're expensive in calories. Still, I felt I had to buy at least SOMETHING before I left the store. I also killed some time by looking through EVERYTHING in the bakery. Wow... the coconut macaroons, the homemade organic raspberry newtons, the CINNAMON BUNS... they were all calling my name. But I prayed it all away! ~~Praise the Lord for the strength He grants me to overcome the temptations!!!~~
After looking through nearly every juice at about 4 kiosks throughout the store, I found only one thing that looked like it would satisfy my fruit craving and still balance out in healthy nutrients and calories. Bolthouse Farms Berry Boost Fruit Smoothie. I can pronounce all the ingredients, there's no added sugar or aspartame or corn syrup or something ending is "-ose", and it's only 220 calories for the entire bottle (which brings my daily tally up to 510).
And OH... MY... GOODNESS!!! It tasted SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD! I cannot even explain to you how much I loved this drink! Maybe because my body has been so desperately craving the fruits in it (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries); maybe because it has EIGHT grams of fiber (very filling!); maybe because it wasn't sickeningly sweet or disgustingly unsweet, as so many "smoothies" turn out to be. But all of that for just 220 calories! I AM SOLD!!!
I'm so psyched about this stuff, that I'm seriously considering buying it in mass quantities instead of juice from now on. Except that it's a little more expensive... I may have to phase it in until the money starts rolling.
Anyway, so all my calories went in before 1 pm. After that, the day was just long and exhausting -- a lot of sitting, waiting, driving, and a quick little walking around gig at midnight. All told, probably didn't burn a whole heckuva lotta calories. But took in 510, and all early, so I'm feeling pretty good.
Between the second audition and the late-night gig, I started having cravings for what I'm going to break the fast with if I make it to 125 pounds by Friday. (And honestly, probably even if I DON'T quite make it to 125. ;)) I can't get over this desperate craving for fruit, so I'm going to the farmer's market to pick up a pint each of strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries, and maybe a few bananas. I also want to do something nice for my agent, since work's been so steady ever since I came home. So I'm going to make up a huge lot of oatmeal raisin cookies.
Now, I've learned from past dessert-making experiences that it's quite impossible for me to make that much good food and NOT taste-test too much along the way. So I figure if I plan to make these things on Friday, my eating day, I won't feel too guilty afterwards.
And the best part of the fruit and cookies is the white chocolate fondue dip I'll have simmering on the burner all day. ;)
Of course, all of this will be followed by another 3-day fast. I'm kind of getting used to this procedure, eating just about whatever I want (within reason, ie. somewhat healthy and less than 2000 calories) every fourth day. As long as I keep losing weight on this plan, it's something I could REALLY get used to. And the added benefit is that I use the 3-day stretches to reach for and grow spiritually closer to my Lord. What could be better?
"I must decrease, that He might increase." -- My new mantra!
One final note for this morning. I slept in for as long as I wanted, but my body woke me up early, anxious to jump on the scale, somehow so sure of KNOWING that I'm going to be lighter today. So at 9 am I got up, and sure enough, DOWN ONE POUND!!! Woohoo! PRAISE BE TO GOD!
Today I plan to take in only 380 calories, and to have a really good hard cardio workout at the gym. Then another late-night gig tonight.
Followed by sleeping in again tomorrow morning, and taking the day to do whatever I want. If I feel like I can get to the gym - great. But being the third day of the fast, I'm not going to push myself. Maybe just a little hike through Central Park again. Or just finding a quite place to read and journal.
But for the next 46 hours (until 8 am Friday morning) I'm going to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY to be 125 by then! To do so would mean that my original goal to reach 122 by next Wednesday (7 days from today) is actually a viable possibility!!! Which means I get to have my donuts/cookie dough/icecream cheat day!!! Of course, looking at the time frame, it might mean I'm gearing up for a 5-day liquid fast over the weekend til then, but I'm prepared for that possibility, and actually looking forward to the challenge!!
GOD IS GOOD!!!